but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
you made out with another girl for some wings
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
