cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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