so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
