Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
it hurts more in the daytime
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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