why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
