look no pants
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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