I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
