He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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