i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
