Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
