super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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