u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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