i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
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