I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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