i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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