dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
