Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize