I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
