the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
