I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
