my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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