They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize