everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Randomize
