I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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