YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
