i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
