I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
