Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
