He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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