she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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