Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
