So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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