I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
