i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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