i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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