it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
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Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
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Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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