we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
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Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
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And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I have already put on my inside pants.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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