Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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