Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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