I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
