I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize