Well apparently he's into motor boating.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
