Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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