i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Actions speak louder than pants.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
