you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Randomize
