New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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