How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
