girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
