Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
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He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
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Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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