I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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