Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
My life is pants optional.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
