We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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