Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
