It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
