we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
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It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
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I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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