Having a random hookup so left but love u
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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